A Time for Everything

I have been learning a lot lately about timing, patience, and reliance on God. I have been thinking quite frequently on Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8(NLT) which says, “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.” There is so much that can be taken from these verses, in fact, I could see an entire study coming from just these 8 verses (maybe I’ll write one), but right in this moment, in this situation, in this season of my life I am focused on verse 4 which says “A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.”

In that verse it seems so cut and dry; while the times of grief and sorrow may be difficult to handle we will also be given a time to dance. However, in the midst of a sorrowful time in my own family’s life; time when tears and grief are expected and a healthy response to loss, I am finding it hard to see it as acceptable to be fully focused on the sorrow of my own situation. While I am going through a season of loss, I am constantly reminded that others are going through their seasons of rejoicing. These others range from perfect strangers on the street to dear friends who are finally getting through their times of loss. So the challenge that I am facing, one that I succeed at fully on some days and not so much on others is how do I rejoice with those who are in a season of laughter and dancing when I am shoulder deep in a season of grief?

I for one am an extremely empathetic person, I don’t just feel bad for other people when they are hurting, I literally feel hurt and pain myself. It might not be the same level of pain, it might not have the actual experience attached, but I am a woman who hears about the loss of a child, or about a new mother’s semi conscious coma and will lose sleep agonizing over what those involved must be feeling. This most recent time in my life has allowed me to practice the other side of this coin. All the information I have been given or read on the emotions one often experiences with miscarriage have had a section on the resentment that is often felt towards other woman who are pregnant or have newborns, etc. Before I had my surgery, in fact only moments after having the sonogram that revealed my baby had died I was determined that I would not do that to myself, to other women, or to the precious blessing of new life in this world.

It is by God’s grace that I am continuing to accomplish this task. We have had friends who had babies just days before I found out, friends who had babies a few weeks after my surgery, friends who announced their pregnancies in the midst of that week and a half from sonogram to surgery, friends who are finally starting their family through the power of answered prayer and adoption. Each family is unique, some never knew they wanted kids until they day they found out they were pregnant, others were expanding their families, some just found out they were pregnant with their first baby, others had been waiting for several years to even know what ethnicity or age or background their children were going to have.

I will not lie, I have had my days of struggle. Days where the sorrow seemed too much to let in any laughter or dancing, but I have a God who designed me in a very specific way and who allowed me to experience the other side of empathy. So over the past few weeks while I have been processing the sorrow of this my season of life I have come to a grand conclusion, while I may be going through a season of sorrow there are so so so many people who are finally entering their seasons of joy, their seasons of laughter, their seasons of healing. While it might not be any comfort to understand this when it comes to strangers who pass you on the street and with whom you may never have any involvement, I have found it extremely comforting to know that even in MY time of sorrow that God has placed people and families and situations in my life that are worth rejoicing over. Romans 12:15 says, “Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.” So those verses from Ecclesiastes aren’t cut and dry. Yes we each have seasons in our individual life that are full of sorrow, or full of joy, full of building or full of tearing down, but for every time we are in a certain season of life we will be sure to be able to look up out of our own world and see that the lives of others aren’t often experiencing the same season. We get the chance to weep with those who are in times of trial and grief, we get the privilege to rejoice with those who are entering seasons of healing and joy and laughter, and if we choose to move our focus from our own pain and suffering we may just get the opportunity to find some joy, and laughter and dancing mixed in with the storm.

Father God, thank you so much for the many blessing you have bestowed not only on my family but on the family of others. Father, right now I am specifically rejoicing for my dear friends Angela and Joe. I am rejoicing for answered prayer, perfect timing, and for no holding back when you answer. I am rejoicing that three precious little ones will get to have two amazing parents and that two dedicated followers who are steadfast in their faith and commitment to you will have the opportunity to grow and nurture and teach these children who you are and that you have a purpose for them. Thank you God for the opportunities to stop focusing on my own little world and to see life through your eyes, to see that even in times of sorrow there are so many reasons to rejoice. In your precious name, heavenly Father I thank you, Amen.